Crocodile rock

‘Ya gotta be sneaky boy’

‘You can’t just run up on them and expect them to sit and wait for ya’

Being confident in ones movements, and avoiding eye contact. While being quick and stealthy at the final stage is key to catching a skink.

I’ve been teaching my son the art of catching skinks since he was conscious of the fact that they were there, and that he could move with with purpose.

Out first missions exploring nature started during covid.

I would build a travel pack, set a target, then lug my 2 year old out into the wilderness.

We were never too far from civilization, but were far enough away to feel, hear and see the bustling display of action that takes place in the bush.

The majority of human instinct at 2 years old is to smash everything, boys and girls, and I feed that instinct in the most constructive and safe way I know how, in nature.

Before our lives were pampered with air-conditioning, big screen televisions with live stream anything, and enough medicinal options that now enables a man to give birth to babies, we lived a rather simple existence with our surrounds.

There is something intrinsically satisfying when you’re out in nature that seems to make everything life throws at you a little more bearable.

As complex as nature is, it is really rather simple.

Showing my son this, and teaching him the etiquette associated with being out in nature is something I was taught growing up, and he is a most proficient skink catcher at his young age of 6.

If there was a competition associated with skink catching, my lad would be up the top of the rankings. A contender for the championship, if not the title holder, he would be.

Kids these days seem to be shielded from nature though. Not my son, but others.

We live in a far safer place in today’s world, especially Launceston, Tasmania, than in any other time through out history, yet children appear to be cotton coddled far more, even though the dangers are much less. I only make this statement as I now work with young people who are very unsure of themselves, and most of them have hands that look like they have just been taken out of a packet or something.

We’re pretty lucky in Tasmania, asides from a couple of snake varieties, there isn’t really much around that can hurt you when you’re out in the bush.

Scorpions, a few ant species. Brown, as well as Tiger snakes, are pretty well the only thing that’s going to give you the good news here in Tasmania when you are out exploring nature.

Yet if we were to cross the bass Strait and head up to the top end of Australia, I can see why people would be more protective of their children.

Huge snakes, dingoes, crocodiles, and even a big prehistoric bird can give you the good news up in the tropics and northern parts of Australia.

But it’s the crocodiles that are the attraction for myself.

Big scaly lizards that lounge around in the sun all day, waiting for an unassuming creature to approach its liquified dwelling.

A stealthy crocodile lunges out of the depths of their murky torrent, snatch a hold of their unassuming lunch, to be dragged down for a roll in the mud.

These are the types of natural environments that one has to be very alert, as they can be of a very serious threat to one’s health and safety if you get caught being permissive off the dangers that lurk.

My lad would be in serious awe in the tropics of Queensland with all the different lizard species just as big as him. And much bigger also.

The Proserpine River was hot spot for crocodiles when I lived in Airlie Beach, Queensland around 10 years ago.

My old mate Keithie, who I went to school with down here in Tasmania, happened to be settling down with a lovely lady in the area, and we went for a trip up the Prossie river one day in his shinny new tinny.

We were out on the water before the sun was up, and on the bum crack of down we had the crab pots down.

After plodding around the esterie for a couple of hours, we went and pulled up the pots.

As it was Keithie’s boat, it was my job to do the heavy lifting in relation to the pot retrievals.

After retrieving the first couple of pots, we approached our next pot, and roughly 30 metre’s or so away, there was this monster crocodile chilling out in the sun, directly adjacent to the pot.

It looked like it was about 10 meters long, I swear.

As soon as we got close to this crab pot, this monstrous dinosaur looking thing arced up and jumped in the water.

‘I don’t think I can get it Keithie’ I muttered.

My old mate was in hysterics!

‘ya best be getting it, Chigsy, unless ya wanna swim back’ was one of his retorts.

After surviving the retrieval of Keith’s crab pot, we were on our way to the next area, but by f&%K was I alert.

It is fairly common knowledge that crocodiles are ambush predators. They do not just run at ya and attack your boat, but that didn’t stop me from being on the highest sense of alert I have ever been on that day.

Seeing these things in real life certainly put my mortality into perspective.

If a crocodile wants to eat you, and can get hold of you, you will be eaten!

These creatures are majestically savage beasts. They have survived for millions of years doing their thing, and no man, especially a 70kg chef, stands any sort of chance if these beast wants to dance and I give him a chance.

Except maybe Steve Irwin. He was a crocodile whisperer or something. He could do the crocodile dance, that cat.

It truly amazes me that people get eaten by these crocodilians though. Every once in a while, some dude or dudette, decides to ignore the many warnings that are plastered around the many streams, rivers and creeks in the top end of Australia and go for a swim with the crocodiles.

I mean, are they challenged in some sort of way that their instincts tell them they will be fine? Have they watched too many fantasy movies and believe they have a super power? Or have they been neglected in the sense that they have never been taught the dangers associated with going into nature?

Being in nature is one of the most simple and effective ways to cleanse oneself of all the stress, burden, anxiety, and other bullshit stress parameters that our lives throw at us.

The simple act of grabbing my fishing gear and driving to a spot away from the world, with nothing but chirping birds to talk to, sorts my soul out.

Even if I don’t catch dinner, just being out there helps me feel a million bucks.

But the most important part of these types of adventures is to make sure you know your surrounds, and respect it.

All of nature deserves respect, as it can be very detrimental to your health if you don’t respect your environment.

While our children can be much better prepared for the world that awaits them if they can experience and understand nature.

I have cooked crocodile a couple of times, but how do people prepare crocodile in a way that is desirable?

One of my favourite shows on YouTube, the outdoor Boys, do a good cook up of alligator.

Every culture that is in close proximity of crocodilians have some sort of recipe for them.

We’re humans, and we eat, or have eaten, everything!

Tastes like fishy chicken they say, and I kind of agree.

The tail is the prized possession in culinary circles.

Diced tail, marinated in some sort of pre- crumb to help break it down and make it palatable is the key in my experience.

Then simply crumb and fry it. You could stew it, but crumbing and frying is more desirable for mine.

Crocodile are tough buggers, and the meat is no exception.

Check out my recipe here for wild berry jam..

This jam simply ooozzzeessss passionate sweetness 🤘🔥🥒

Catch yas on the next one.

Pickle pro-tip: If your ever in the outback tropics of Australia, and you’re dying of thirst, and you approach a watering hole. Don’t drink the water, just leave it and go and die under a tree if you cant make it to civilazation. Your family have a chance of finding your body that way one day. But if a croc gets hold of you in one of the oasis’s, you will never be found. So stay safe and leave the crocodiles alone.