Heterogeneous bliss!

“You okay out here chef? It is gonna be busy man?” head chef Jamie enquired.

“Sure am chef, all over it like spots on ya grandma” I retorted.

Jamie looked worried, he knew this place better than I did, and he was right to be. I was confident, but I was concerned about the seafood pizza closest to the flames of the pizza oven, the one that had five other pizzas surrounding it, of the non-seafood variety. My seafood pizza needed turning, so I dug in my pizza paddle, picked it up, moved it about 20 centimetres, and then my worst fear happened. The pizza fell, straight onto four of the other five pizzas that were pleasantly leavening away, minding their own cheesy business.

“What the fuck chef?” Jamie inquired, running in from out the back.

“Sorry chef, I will have it sorted soon” was my reply.

“The fuck man! Your oven base is covered in oceanic sauce and cheese, and you have thirty pizzas backed up” Jamie protested.

What a spot to be in I thought. My first gig after qualifying and I was flapping at nearly every turn at this pumping bistro in the Whitsundays.

My belief that I was something special after gaining my qualifications was dissipating at an alarming rate. No matter how good one thinks they are at one establishment, the reality that it takes time to find your groove somewhere else was presented upon me in fierce fashion, right in view of an entire restaurant, being berated by my rightly frustrated head chef.

“What a mere mortal I am!” I pondered to myself, while attempting to drag my section out of the shit.

I think most, if not every trades-person has this moment of clarity. I might of finally gotten qualified, but I am not special, and becoming accustomed to the fact that just because one holds a trade certificate was evident. We are but mere mortals that rely on basic skill sets, attributes and workplace resources to ply our crafts. Get cocky with either and we will be found out.

#If you were looking for a pizza recipe and do not want to read any more of my pizza dribble, check this link out for a basic, traditional pizza recipe- KISS pizza

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Our traditional, culturally accepted pizza, the one topped with tomato, cheese and other consumables, can be traced back to Naples, in Italy, as the foundation of what we are accustomed to across the globe.

Many other cultures can attribute arguments that give them claims to being the most ‘traditional’ and ‘oldest’ pizzas that mankind has created. Historian academics have presented theses’ that argue an Asian style pizza, consisting of sweet rice flour and spices, titled ‘Ping tse’ is the oldest known pizza type. While the Egyptians were cooking a bread type titled ‘pitta’ in the first known ovens at around 2000 B.C.

Yet for the status of this article, whatever anyone thinks about who started what and when in relation to pizza, I am talking about the bread dough with tomato on top, seasoned with cheese and herbs. Tomato did not arrive in Europe until after the Spanish traded smallpox for these acid rich beauties back in late 14th and early 15th centuries A.D. So any arguments about the origins of European pizza starts after that period in history.

The word pizza here derives from the verb meaning to ‘sting’ or ‘season’. From the same origin comes the term ‘ a la pizzaiola’, meaning a piquant mixture of tomato sauce, shreds of pepper, herbs and garlic, for which is suitable as a condiment addition to pasta, pork chops or grilled food types.

Pizza was originally considered only a poor mans staple until the late 1800’s. Working class and many other poorer society classes could purchase pizza from market areas, to be consumed and eaten on the spot, or purchased cold, for which it was folded or rolled up, then stored in ones pocket for later in the day.

In 1889, the Italian king Umberto 1, and his Queen, a Miss Margarita, grew tired of the common French food fare at their disposal, and decided to summon a local chef named Raffaele Esposito from a local pizzeria called ‘Pietro e Basta Cosi’ in Naple’s. Chef Esposito presented three flavored pizza types, with one of them consisting of tomato, mozzarella and basil. Queen Margarita was blown away with this concoction of tomato and cheese. Subsequently, after the acquisition of the right to use her name, Pietro e Basta Cosi would launch what would later become one of the planets most famous pizzas, the Margarita!

Migrating Italian immigrants starting migrating the famed Margarita combination and its variations with their families and possessions from the late 1800’s, especially during and after World War two, into American culture. While it would be the revolutionary attributes of fast food chains like McDonald’s and the like that would inspire pizzerias to follow a similar business style that would launch pizza onto the international stage, while cementing it as a common staple in most western food cultures.

Us Australians are typically lazy and easy going as a society with our food culture, therefore pizzas loaded to the brink with ingredients is common place. Most pizza on offer around my home town of Launceston is generally a meat and three vegetable style combination with sauce, placed upon a flat loaf of bread. Australia, with the British and convict heritages segments, lack distinctively flavoured meals that are popular amongst today’s generations. It would be safe to say that pizza loaded up like a three coarse meal on a loaf of bread is one of the firmly ingrained food types in our society, thanks largely to those peasants in Naples, looking to impress their Queen.

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I sure as buggery didn’t complete a four year apprenticeship to cook pizzas, but that is not to say I am not going to try and tell you my pizza is the best, nor would any other chef worth his pearly whites, even though I know I am but a mere mortal like the rest of you!

So how does one find out who makes the best wood fired pizza in any municipality, as they are all going to tell you “theirs’ is the best”? You ask some foodie and chit chat social media pages to vote for who they like best! So, who gets the most love when locals want a heterogeneous, consumable blend of fermented milk, grounded wheat and tomato, infused with freshly carbonated wood.

Of the six known ‘wood fired pizza’ eateries in the municipality of Launceston, there were two places miles ahead in votes over the other adversaries, with the Newstead bistro piping the Metz by a close margin. I have eaten the Metz’s pizzas on numerous occasions over the journey, and had never been let down, so I was excited to get into the Newstead bistro and get my face salivating for more!

I decided to head in there early on a Saturday night with my three year old, which although being a risky preposition, teaching him restaurant and social etiquette is a must, so better to start him early for mine.

We rolled in a half an hour before service opened, and we were warmly greeted by attentive and professional staff. We organized a Margarita pizza and a bowl of chips, to be followed by a Banana split. And make no mistake! The ice-cream component of the dessert was my fatherly bribe to help keep my little fella in line if things started to spiral out of control.

Upon completion of our order placement, the lovely waitress dropped off a coloring in pack, for which my son and I set about drawing pictures on the provided booklet and dining room table.

The chefs looked well worked for a Saturday, with a 50/50 ratio of sleeve tattoos in view to boot. A good, old school way to tell how good your food is going to be, is how tired the chefs look. Friday to Sunday is where most of their turnover occurs, so seeing that the chefs look like they have been grinding out big covers over the last twenty four hours or so tells me that these guys must be cooking something tasty. A tired, whacked looking chef is a good sign that all is good in their world of tasty treats. The tattoos present on their forearms was a relief, as although I am not yet privy to the effect such personal presentation has on food flavour, their reputation as a good eatery correlates with a current social myth.

After half an hour or so, the food arrived and the pizza looked prime. Crispy cheese top, edges crisping on the border of carbonation, while a lovely heterogeneous blend of sauce, sliced tomato, herbs and cheese presented itself to my drooling eye balls.

The cutlery had previously been unraveled by my little fella and were laying on the floor. Yet, although eating pizza in an establishment with our fingers could be considered rude and uncivilized, I took the theory of being a complete traditionalist while consuming this delicacy. The pizza base was my plate, and I wasn’t trying to eat an entire meal built upon a 200 gram portion of bread dough.

The combination was sensational. Although there were no salt and pepper shakers present on my table, a good balance of tomato, cheese and herbs were present upon my crispy bread base, so added seasoning was not required. I had wondered whether or not it is commonplace to ask for salt and pepper upon presentation of food in bistros these days, and will have to ask on my next venture, wherever I go.

These guys were well worth the effort of going to and checking out. A big part of me wanted to bin this aspect of my article at the time, and go hard and chomp down on the meat lovers pizza, but I am glad I stuck to the plan. Thank you social media Launceston.

Next time your out and about and hanging for a pizza, check them out, the Newstead pub. Or get down any of the other wood fired pizza establishments in Launceston, they are all putting up a solidly tasty heterogeneous concoction of toasted bread, topped with flavorings, known as the mighty pizza.

#References

-larousse gastronomique, 2003 edition.

-In search of total perfection, Heston Blumenthal, 2006

I also found an academic transcript on the origins of Pizza, check it out here- Pizza folk lore